We Become Strangers

How many hours do we spend in front of the computer or the television?  The technological advances in the past 25 years have turned many of us to robotic mode in many aspects of our lives – work, entertainment, relationship, romance etc.

 

Most professionals face the computer throughout the day updating, searching, analysing, and distributing data and information. Arriving home, they face the television for the news or series, if not play a computer game. Often, they compete with other family members for the use of the computer to connect with loved ones and friends in other parts of the world. The singles conveniently cultivate friendships in the net. The total number of hours that a white-collared individual spend before an electronic gadget should be no less than 10 out of 16 waking hours!

 

Most affected by technology is the family home. Haven’t you noticed that we could exchange pleasantries longer with the individual on the other end of the line than we do with people who are present in a room with us? The attitude is like “Why bother, they’re just around anyway?” As we connect our lives to the distant, we detach ourselves to those near. The chips that make up closeness fall and before we know it, we have become strangers with those whom we love.

 

How do we cultivate our relationship in the family?

• It all begins with one’s self. An individual must accept the person that he or she is. No one is perfect; yet, we must strive to be perfect not in the eyes of man, but before God. One must be able to smoothen the flaws in one’s self, and at the same time, nourish the good within.

• Be genuinely interested in the other person. What makes this son unique? What are likes and dislikes of this daughter? What makes Dad or Mom happy? It’s not always about us, but it’s about the people around us. One must look at the other with compassion and understanding to set the tone of closeness. Constant and meaningful communication is key towards building enriching family relations.

• Gather the family. There was a time when sharing the meal in the dining table was the norm. But the busyness has taken its toll on family togetherness. Tradition was for families to gather together at six o’clock in the evening before the image of the Virgin Mother to pray the Rosary. These things should not be relegated to the past; but should remain alive to strengthen the family.  Parents should be like church elders of old. “He must manage his own family well, having children who respect and obey him. For if a man cannot manage his own household, how can he take care of God’s church?” (1 Timothy 3:4-5)  Every Wednesday night, my family would gather in the living room. We start with singing, then follow through with prayers, Gospel reading and reflection. We then proceed to recite the Rosary and conclude with singing. After the gathering, there is always a sense of peace, happiness and security in our home.

•  Make God the centre of the family. It is the responsibility of parents to nurture the spiritual growth of their children. “Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones” (Psalm 16:24). To be effective, the parents must be strong in and knowledgeable of their faith. Teaching the Good News must be demonstrated in daily acts of living and loving. God must be the Master of the home; and He will be, if the family prays together for His help and blessings.  

 

We are judged by the fruits that we bear. Parents must do their utmost best to raise Godly children. Children must obey their parents as God willed parents to be his representatives on earth.            

 

We must realise that the core to peace in the world is the family. Pope Benedict XVI said in December 2008: “By looking to the family as the prototype of every social order, humanity can learn how to achieve peace. The family is the foundation of society for this reason too: because it enables its members in decisive ways to experience peace." The Pontiff said. "It follows that the human community cannot do without the service provided by the family. Where can young people gradually learn to savor the genuine 'taste' of peace better than in the original 'nest' which nature prepares for them?”